i have been rifling through the internet for the past couple of days reading crap about asexuality and crap and i am just so frustrated right now! all of this crap is too confusing and i can't figure any of it out and i keep worrying that i'm lying to myself just so i'll match up with all this crap i'm reading. and i can't figure out how i feel about people and i don't understand what sexual attraction is or how it differs from something being pretty or enticing or what the heck romantic feelings are or anything abstract and i just want my family and friends and i want to stop being so lost and sad and confused and i just want to be freaking normal. this sucks. i think i'm gonna cry now.